On the occasions I go way out of my usual ‘lifestyle’ (food, sleep,lifestyle) because I just want to, I always remember my mum when I was little referring to some junk foods as ‘soul foods’. Took me many years to appreciate that statement.
First I should say though, that my mum growing up was quite strict on what I could eat. Sometimes it made no sense – no macca’s but Apple Pies somehow had an exception (they were her busy-day soul food treat) but she would endeavour to drum into my brother and I the importance of good food, chopped, cooked and eaten at home.
Sadly we argued that for the best part of our teenage years. I’m so thankful she battered our ears to teach us such value in loving the food that in return makes us the human being we become.
My Soul-Food happens in some form every day. I’ve just got better with knowing myself. Unconscious eating was something that took me from a skinny 15 year old eating 500g tubs of humus and entire bags of pita wraps to 20 years old and bags of cellulite on my ass. There was also the behavior that was just negative upon angry upon scared upon more angry. It was anxiety that got me there, not the tv, that was just a byproduct of being anxious. I had all sorts of anxiety issues growing up, some of which I don’t talk about because they are long buried and others that I still have but are just teeny little voices that try and rear up every so often but I manage them with proper self help and not through food or shit choices. Basically I tell them anxious voices to stick it – they have NO power.
We all have our stories, our reasons to self sabotage or to smother pain and emotion. The question is what’s the difference between giving yourself what you desire vs what your soul needs?
Unconscious and late night eating
Emotionally lashing out at others
Changing the truth
Allowing our inner thief take our goodness (our ‘ugly’ side)
Giving to others before giving to yourself
Repeating excuses and hoping it works
The list above is all me, all what I’ve done to me to control, hide and run from the real. I’m not just a crazy face 😉 So as your read, reflect, read about my mistakes and find solace that you’re not alone and there is great things you can put into place or that are already around you each day, week or month that can allow you to nourish you soul!
Each one I can connect to so many experiences in my life that I just needed to control the outcome because I was so scared if I didn’t I would fail. Not sure what I would of failed at though? YOU can’t actually FAIL in life.
Here’s my gold, this is the stuff that makes me ALIVE, that rolls me out of bed, that keeps me moving when I’m feeling a struggle coming on and just makes me properly content that all is great.
Reflecting each day on the ENTIRE planet, even for just 15 seconds knowing that I am so little and insignificant in my woes to the horrendous lives that sadly some people are in and the desire to inspire and motivate, to help and support anyone I can is enriched in this 5 second thought automatically.
My son. He has grown me to this place. I like this place I am in of self discovery. A place of constant spacial, spiritual, intellectual, emotional and physical Forward. I don’t know how else to explain the effect this human being has had on me and my life. I only wish (at times) I had another and another of him. Only at times!
Learning to sit with what is Now whilst looking forward to my future. It’s hard to do, to not look back, dwell, complaint and wonder. It gets me (and you) nowhere though. My plans are sometimes so specific and others more open to opinion and expansion – growth you could say! Because what I want now to work towards may very well change and alter at the least in the next few years. Be open, sit with today, enjoy your life and all you have and look towards your future – CREATE your future.